What prompted my change in life was I remember being asked to make a list of all the things I loved about myself . Tears filled my eyes and my breath became short . My mind drew a blank there was nothing about me that I loved . This had lasted for many years until I got so miserable I didn’t care what anyone might say or think of me . All it took for me to say “enough” and one person saying “I think your more okay than you realize “. After that I began asking questions from within , but stayed silent to make life easier for myself . So, I really didn’t read any books and I really didn’t talk about these ideas I had , because I wasn’t sure what I believed in the first place . During these changes I still from time to time would have a struggle with fear of what people might say or think of me . There was a in ground fear from many years of being raised in a fear based religion and having it pounded down my throat . What if I’m wrong ? Would God understand that I was only looking to see what was real and not trying to defy him ? Then I came to a place were I decided that any real God that knows and loves me would embrace me for my courage to seek the truth .This created a willingness to hear the truth without judgment and just a openness learn and love that soon lead me to my miracles in life .
Let me explain something about this desire to learn and grow . I became willing to do anything and I was open to hear anything . It truly didn’t matter what it was just that it worked . To be quite honest I came to a place in my mind and heart that allowed me to become open to anything that would make my life enjoyable . The answers for me came ,and not by a person or a book but in the form of questions . Yes , I know this might sound odd , but its true and you’ll see the connection soon enough . It was simply me observing myself as I asked the deeper more meaningful questions . You see , I was finally at the place where I threw up your hands and asked for the basics like happiness and love . When I did this something happened ” I ask “and “I believe” in something “more powerful than me ” and with my hands thrown up “I receive”. What was waiting for me all along .
This was the beginning of my miracles hidden behind a veil , and I truly believe life happens this way so that we don’t interfere . This happened because I could not have foreseen the end results . My versions of happiness would have simply been enough to make me become content . Do you know what content is ? Death to your souls growth . We are either growing or dying . I believe that we are meant to evolve into loving , forgiving and allowing beings . You know you have arrived the moment that you realize that your journey has just begun . I know just about the time I think I really know something , is when I find out its still only the beginning . I once heard someone say that we are not human beings we are human be comings because to say we are human beings implies stagnation .
One of the first things I did was I had to make a pack with myself . For me this was the only way . This pack was that “I would be true to my heart no matter what the cost “. This change for me mattered so much that I would make whatever change was necessary . I created what I call a doggish pursuit inside of me to renovate my life . This desire had to burn so deep that nothing could put it out . When you want it more than anything , is when real change will occur in your life . What I soon discovered was “wanting” and “allowing” is two different things . This is where years later the use of Ho’oponopono and EFT came into my life along with meditation . You see , I wanted change but there was apart of me that wouldn’t allow these changes to occur . This is the part of me that creates beliefs and holds them true in order to feed the ever hungry ego .
For me it would be years until what I was doing would even be confirmed by others as something other than crazy . During these changes I was asking myself a lot of questions and was doing a lot of testing because for me this was all theory . I didn’t have someone to teach me . Matter of fact I just had my mind and my feelings to gage how I was doing . Was I getting closer ? Well , how did I feel ? I was feeling better and that seemed to be enough for me to keep on going . When I began to feel different I knew something was working . I very silently started to change my mind and heal my heart and later change my life .
As these changes occurred I began to posses what some would call an “observing ego” . That is where you see your behavior without judgment there is no “right” nor “wrong.” This is simply a observation of “what is.” The more I used this observing ego the easier it became . I began to free myself of my own judgments and in time was able to remove the affects and the control that other peoples judgments had placed over my life and my decisions . I began to experience an awareness and a view of life that took me from unhappy to a person possessing a over flowing joy . Even in times where life may not be ideal I still find my center and see the good that I know is waiting just around the corner of asking and believing .
This love and joy I speak of is amazing and everyone around you feels it pouring out of you . Its in your words , its in your smile ,its in your walk . There’s even a gleam in your eyes like your in love and you are . Your in love with life and your in love with everyone and everything . This is amazing and its so amazing that people stop people stare because it is foreign to them . This love should be seen and felt by everyone and everything and it will but it begins with us . This love begins inside of us and it is life transforming .
One evening as I was meditating I asked divine spirit what my true call was . The answer was to teach others how to heal there hearts the way that I had learned myself . Its is with that inner knowing that I began to open myself up and write . There are many methods but I have yet to find any method more affective and soothing to the soul than Ho’oponopono and when combined with meditation and EFT it is remarkable .
As I was in a meditation one evening I placed my intent on understanding the divine spirit . I asked to know and understand to a level that would transform my life and expand my mind . Wow , be careful what you ask for . This is what I was shown . I was shown my own continual desire to grow , and expand my knowledge and existence . What I saw after that was the same desire to continually grow and expand but at a much grander scale . It was like a drop of water into the sea and that drop of water was the earth all the ripples were all the dimensions that the divine spirit exist within . I was also shown a radio dial going up and down and positive being on one end and negative being on the other end and that everyone tunes in whatever frequency that they are able to hear and see there divine power . One thing that kept getting repeated was “and its all okay” all the polarities of existence and all the varying degrees in between are all part of expansion . That all these levels are necessary for expansion and growth . So whatever level that a person could exist at the exact polarity of it was existing at the same moment , and its there own journey to recognize so they can grow and expand and through that the universe grows and expands also , but true growth occurs when we merge as one in love . We are to be in a constant state of growth . I believe that we are all to continually grow and expand because this is how the divine spirit grows and expands the same way .
This is why there must first be change on the inner in order to change the outer . This I know for sure . How full is your cup ? Does something need to change for me to become able to be grateful and happy ? There is nothing that needs to change to find joy and gratitude . I see this in my sons face everyday . Even though this little boy has limited vision and was born with a cleft lip and palate he smiles . Surely , if my son sees a reason to smile I can too . This little boy’s love of life and people amazes me everyday . When I am having a bad day I look at him , and I see how sad it is that I his mother , and his example to life could not see the beauty he sees everyday . This is enough for me remember how blessed I am in every breath I have been given . So , is his disabilities a blessing or a curse ? I say he is a blessing to me and everyone that meets him . Nothing needs to change in order to become happy except the mind and he is proof . So for this I offer Mahalo and ask for the divine spirit of Aloha to be present in my life and yours everyday . This is a silent prayer with great mana my heart surrenders to the divine spirit .
Ke aloha no me ka malaho kaua ! Aloha indeed with malaho to you and me !
All of these experiences lead me to the realization of the power or rather” Mana “of my words . I know that part of changing my life was to change my speech . Once I was aware that each and every word was and is power . I became even more intrigued with Hawaii than I ever was . You see I found a article on The Spirit of Aloha , and through this became even more inquisitive about this island of love . As a little girl my father used to speak of when he was stationed in Hawaii . So he had already planted the seed by often speaking to me about his experiences in Hawaii . To this day I still have his maps from the war , and now as a adult I see his reasons for wanting me to experience this myself , and now I have even more reasons .
You know when you truly believe in something when your willing to put aside a lot of hard work to start over because you see the greater picture . I am breaking all the rules and saying what I know is the truth . I’m believing in the impossible “my dreams” and to teach others to do the same would be a honor . I believe this enough to speak my truth , to act and share .
I am blessed in every breath I have been given and so I Aloha Malaho. Nothing needs to change in order to become happy except the mind . So for this I offer Mahalo and ask for the divine spirit of Aloha to be present in my life and yours everyday . This is a silent prayer with great mana my heart surrenders to the divine spirit . Ke aloha no me ka malaho kaua ! Aloha indeed with malaho to you and me ! With this I ask for realization of the mana of my words and for this mana of love to over flow onto you .
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